All Those Years
by Survivalman14
Summary: Whilst others had days, he had years. After leaving the Underworld, Kirito is once again forced into a unfamiliar world, the one he used to call his own
1. Homecoming

As Kirito walked through the doorway of 'his' house he finally realized that, despite what his family and the officials at RATH had told him, this was the first time he had walked through this door in _years_. Five years to be precise, not a few months like everyone else tried to tell him.

Only adding to this conclusion was the awe that filled him when he saw the Television in the living room, or the Fridge in the kitchen. Sure, when he 'woke up' he'd been poked and prodded with technology over ten times more impressive than what he was seeing now. But it wasn't simply the technology that awed him, it was the simple fact of seeing something so advanced being in normal family's home.

Upon entering the bedroom…. No, _his_ bedroom. The sight of the Nervegear and Computer neatly tucked in the corner of the room made the place seem almost…. _Foreign_

For the next month Kirito was put on 'house watch' by RATH and, despite their insistence that it was merely to observe how he reacted to the 'real' world, he felt it was more akin to a house arrest. No, he wasn't forced to stay at his home, but who wants to go anywhere with people in black suits following them?

He couldn't blame them. The lasting effects of his time in the Underworld was there for all to see. Instead of the cheerful Kazuto that his friends had grown used to, he was now the more reserved, quiet Kirito whose life kept getting destroyed out from under him.

Not long after settling into his old room he started to have nearly daily visits by Asuna. At first her visits seemed to help speed up his return to normalcy, they would talk of his time in the Underworld, of his quest to defeat Administrator, of Eugeo. The mere thought of his friend brought tears to his eyes and reminded him of others close to him that he had lost, people like Ronye and Tieze.

Nearly a week after Asuna started visiting him he could start to feel how strained their relationship was becoming. Before the underworld, He could spend every second of the day with her and never once would he have wished away a second of it.

Now, as he sat listening to how she got on the Ocean Turtle, he couldn't help but start to wish she would leave him alone. These thoughts made him feel a bit guilty as she was trying to help him, and it wasn't as if she was acting any different than she did before. His mind was simply elsewhere. He was merely someone else.

As much as he tried, it seems he couldn't hide his thoughts as not long after she finished speaking she stood, with a pained look on her face, and said she needed to go home and that she wouldn't be able to come over for a while.

That was nearly a week ago.

As he finished reminiscing about how he pushed away the one person that was always by his side, he put let out a sigh and his head fell into his arms. This room, this house, everything, _everyone_, was foreign to him for the past 3 years he only had two people he was truly close to. The first one, the one he knew the longest, was dead, killed as he tried to atone for sins he thought he had committed. The second, the one who saved his life more times than he knew, she was -

His thoughts were cut off as the faint sound of music filled his room. In the back of his mind he thought the music was familiar like something he had heard much earlier in his life. Suddenly his mind connected the dots and he realized it was the music that played on floor 22 of Aincrad. At the same time another realization struck him, the music was coming from his cellphone! For what had to be the umpteenth time today Kirito mentally slapped himself. After all, who forgot their own ringtone?!

As he picked up the phone, he idly noted it wasn't anyone from his contact list, but he decided to answer anyways.

"Hello," he said with a cheerfulness that didn't reach is face, "This is Kiri- Kazuto how can I help you?" Once again, his near slip-up reminded him just how much the Underworld affected him.

However, the instant the voice on the other end of the line responded he could feel the weariness he'd constantly felt being quickly washed away

"Oh," a sweet, and distinctly female voice responded. "I'm sorry, it seems I have contacted the wrong person, I was expecting to reach Kirito…" As the oddly formal response trailed off Kirito noticed just how sad she sounded at the end, the realization broke his heart.

_She's on the verge of tears_ he thought, was he truly that important to her? After thinking it over, he is the only lifeline that she had, the one connection she had to her world._ Not to mention she is my only lifeline as well_ he thought, after all if this world was foreign to him, he didn't even want to imagine just how lost she felt.

Before she could sink anymore into despair Kirito responded with a sad smile on his face. "I'm sorry Alice," the use of the girl's name brought a quiet gasp, from the newly dubbed Alice, "I wasn't expecting a call from you, not to mention it slipped my mind that you knew me only as Kirito and not Kazuto."

Seconds passed, and yet still no response came from the blond-haired girl that had been his caretaker for the past six months. Soon, Kirito's brow furrowed,had he been too direct?

A pained gasp broke him out of his thoughts and, with what Kirito could only assume was a teary face, the golden-haired knight responded, "Thank Stacia… I... I was so scared."

_Scared? Why would she be scared? Do I truly come off as uncaring? Enough to break one of the strongest people I know._ These thoughts ran through Kirito's mind bring up memories he'd tried so hard to forget.

_Beater! You only care for yourself! Yea, you chose the LA bonus over saving my brother's life!_

Drowning in his own dark thoughts Kirito nearly missed her next words that came out of her mouth. "I... I just thought that… you didn't want to talk to me… I knew it was you, as I recognized your voice, but I... I thought maybe, you wanted to forget about the Underworld... About me." She finished her sentence in a quiet whisper clearly not intending for Kirito to hear her.

Her words pulled him back into reality. She though he wanted to forget about the Underworld. Why? The Underworld meant as much to him as the real world did to him at this point, hell he spend more time in the Underworld than he did in the real world.

Suddenly, a thought hit him like a ton of bricks, _she just needs a friend, a pillar of support, no matter how unstable that pillar might currently be…_

As he went to speak another thought hit him, what good was words spoken across a phone? She wasn't used to this. The solution came to him in an instant.

Quickly coming up with a convincing lie on why the had to cut their reunion short, whilst also ignoring both the pain in Alice's voice and his own guilt that he was causing it.

In a pitiful attempt to rid himself of his guilt, he reasoned a physical reunion would be best, for both of them.

Dropping the phone, he quickly launched himself at his computer, Stacia give him luck.

Somehow, he had gotten the Ok from Dr. Koujiro to have Alice come out on a "Dinner Date" as she'd called it. Despite having some disagreements with the name, Kirito made no attempt to argue with her, never tickle a sleeping dragon they say.

Releasing a sigh of relief, or was it was one of exultation? Shaking his head, Kirito looked out the window_, it doesn't matter what I feel_, Kirito thought as he watched a young couple walk down the road, _Its all for her._

The young couple brought another hurtle into the forefront of his mind, how was he going to explain this to Asuna? It was true

Passing a glance at the clock in the corner of his room Kirito nearly had a figurative heart attack. _6 PM! I'm supposed to go out with Klein at 6:15! _

Running with a strength he didn't know he possessed, he quickly threw off his nightwear, put on a black jacket and a pair of pants, which were also black, before hurrying to the door to put on, you guessed it, black shoes.

Quietly he slipped out the door, moments before Klein's car slowly pulled up on the side of the road. Surprisingly, the passengers window was down and inside it was a toned, muscular face. One that did not in any way belong to Klein, Despite his numerous trips to the gym and "Samurai training", he had yet to show any noticeable changes. Taking seconds longer than it should have, Kirito finally recognized the familiar, bearded man, that was staring at him, with visible mirth in his eyes.

"Well" came a rough voice, "Here I thought that I would be the one to first get memory issues"

"Give him a break, Agil" came a snarky reply from Klein "Think you could spend years in a VR world and not forget a thing or two?"

"I would think he wouldn't forget the person who he always sold useless junk too!"

As Kirito slid in the backseat, and the playful argument continued, Klein flash him a quick thumbs up with a poorly concealed smirk. No doubt because Kirito didn't forget him as well. Good to see that somethings never change.

Not that he would tell Klein this, but he had indeed had difficulty's putting a face to his name when he woke up. The poor guy already had enough on his plate as is.

"Doesn't look good for you to be at other bars Agil, what will potential customers think?"

"Oh, shut it" the older man said, setting his mug down on the bar "I'd be lucky to have a conversation for 3 minutes before I get roped into taking orders. I'm sure you know what it's like."

The server, a man no doubt older than the three of the combined, leveled a glare in Agil's direction, "Know what its like? I'm Living it! Tonig…"

"Edward!" boomed a voice, "You don't have time to be slacking off! Lord knows it's all you're good for!"

With speed unbefitting a man of his age Edward managed to take their orders and get Klein a refill in what had to be thirty seconds flat.

Giving a questioning glance at Agil, hoping to gain some insight as to what I just witnessed, all I got was the simple you'll learn what just happened when you are older.

The rest of the night passed in a blur, with Agil having banter with a few other people, even Klein seemed to know one or two (No doubt from his time spent at Agil's bar)

It was nearly midnight before Kirito got home, and despite having a fun night he was left with question that consumed his thoughts.

What did he have?

What made this world meaningful to him, he had Asuna, but even before the current strain on their relationship, even she couldn't be counted, after all, he did meet her in SAO.

All of his friends came from another world, another _life_

Everything he was attached to came from SAO, without it he would be nothing.

Mechanically he made his way up to his room, dark thoughts plaguing him every step of the way.

The house was quiet, being so late he had no delusions that Sugu was using her AmuSphere, while she had come far from the athletic kendo practitioner that despised games she was no where near enraptured enough to stay up this late at night to play.

Sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands he sat, hours passed by and yet he didn't move it wasn't until the morning sun finally made its appearance was he snapped out of his musings by a brief glint of light from his shelf.

With a snap in his joints, slowly he stood and inched his way to the shelf, his heart constricting with every inch that passed.

A photo, one positioned in such a way that the light would hit it in the mornings a create a brief spark of light.

Hesitantly, his hand raised to grab the photo, the walls that he'd spent all night creating in his head cracked.

It was a photo of him and Asuna in ALO, Asuna's arms wrapped around his neck from behind with her head resting on his shoulder, her blue hair flowing softly in the wind. Both his and Asuna's faces were lit up with a radiant smile.

Glancing at top of the photo, the cracking in his wall suddenly became gapping holes as he read the words inscribed there.

_In this world and the next_


	2. Thunderstorms

Rain, of all days why did it have to rain today? Sitting on the bed Kirito couldn't help but wonder if gods had a reason to hate him. Outside the black sky sparked with light and the ground shook with every rumble of lightning.

The exact opposite of a nice day. Of course, it just had to occur on the day where he would see Alice again.

Not that anyone else knew that, not even Suguha.

He had gone to great lengths to keep this whole meet-up a secret, as he didn't know if he could face the fury of Asuna if she knew he had a visitor, let alone Alice.

It had been nearly a week since she had fled from his room. At first, he fully intended to get out of funk and contact her after a few days, even if his heart was not in it.

He figured he owed her that and so much more. However, as time went on, he just could not work up the nerve to talk to her. He spent the longest time in the Underworld dreaming of this moment, but now he just could not seem to work up the nerve. He was just not the carefree kid he was before, the man that everyone saw him as.

He was simply a man out of time.

With a worsening mood he stood and slowly made his way over to his closet. After all no matter what the weather outside was, his plans for the evening certainly wouldn't be hindered. After all the show must go on, right?

Putting on his usual attire, a t-shirt, and pants, black of course, he made his way down to the Kitchen.

Being so early in morning he hadn't expected anyone to be awake yet, but the clanking of pots and pans indicated that he was wrong. Turning the corner Kirito entered a warzone. Egg yolk was sprayed over the bar and cooking on the stove, 2 _very_ well-done eggs let off a pungent burnt smell. In front of the stove stood Suguha, with a panicked expression on her face.

Rushing forward he forcefully pushed Sugu away from the stove.

"Kazuto! Wha-"

Swiftly, Kirito shut off the burner and grabbed the handle of the pan just a second later. With just his luck, the instant he picked the pan up to a massive clap of thunder echoed outside.

With a startled yelp Sugu lurched forward, directly into the arm that held the pan. Before he could even process what had happened, the egg fell directly on his chest. Immediately the egg burned the skin underneath the shirt.

Quickly, Kirito threw the egg off of this shirt towards the floor where it landed with an almighty smack. Despite the extreme pain he was in, he couldn't help but be worried that _monstrosity _would burn the floor.

Taking a step back to survey the damage he was forced to shield his eyes from the scene.

It. Was. Everywhere.

Grease stained the floor creating miniature lakes along the floor while chunks of broken off egg peppered the floor like broken glass. Finally, right in front of the stove rested the main chunk off the egg acting as the centerpiece.

"Umm sorry Kazuto" came a meek voice "I've got plans to go out with some friends soon and I need to get going, do you think you could get this?" she said gesturing to the mess of the kitchen

Before so much as a hint of a reply could grace his lips, Sugu had already left the hellhole she created behind for the entrance of the house where she started getting ready to leave.

"Sugu!" he started, trying to stop her before she got out the door "wait- "

"Oh yea" she said flashing a smile at her brother, who had undoubtedly thought she regained her senses, before she grabbed the umbrella that sat next to the door "Can't forget this, thanks for reminding me!"

As Kirito watched the door close, he didn't even try to chase down his sister who was running away from another problem she made. One she oh so graciously dropped into his hands.

In a way he supposed it was partially his fault, ever sense the end of SAO he had fixed the problems for anyone in his friends' group. Asuna, Lizbeth, Simon, Silica, Suguha, for anyone these people he had pained and suffered to make them happy, even to the point of fixing mistakes made solely on their part, ones that didn't involve him until he stuck his foot in the door.

Hell if he thought back on it hard enough the only people who didn't seem to use him like a magic eraser were Klein and Agil, the two exact people who invited him out days earlier, two people that didn't make him regurgitate his experiences in the Underworld in a vain attempt to understand what he went through.

As Kirito began to begin the process of restoring the kitchen to a clean state, he had half the mind to leave it the way it was and let Suguha deal with her own mistakes. Sadly, due to a certain visit from a golden-haired girl and the tongue lashing he would receive from his mother it wasn't an option.

As each stain disappeared Kirito could feel himself drifting into a haze, memories flashed before him, a blue room that flooded with red light, the last words of a blue haired knight, and the final sacrifice of a flaxen haired youth.

His friends thought of him as a knight in shining armor, and this was the exact thought that broke him. They thought him to be incapable of being broken, but obviously they just didn't know where to look. Undoubtedly, they thought this because he would always stand and fight, not realizing or perhaps not caring to look and realize that this was the actions of a broken man attempting to keep whatever pieces of himself he had left.

How wrong could they be?

Outside the sounds of the rain and thunder seemed to increase in tempo, yet the black-haired youth, once called the Black Swordsman, continued his internal lament.

Eugeo, the thought of that name, the name of his best friend unlocked the torrent of memories he had attempted to block out.

"_Hey Kirito," the former woodcutter said late one night, as rain as thunder blanketed North Centoria, and by extension the Sword Mastery Academy. "I've been meaning to ask this for a while, but it never seemed like a good time to ask. What would you do if you regained your memories and realized you had friends and family waiting for you somewhere else?_

_Kirito paused, truly he hadn't thought about this, he didn't need too, he knew about the situation he was in, after all, eventually he would return to the Real World. Nevertheless, he pondered over the question, what would he do when he left this world? Left Eugeo? Truly the way their friendship would be able to continue was if Eugeo was confined to an existence like Yui. However, for multiple reasons such an act would be impossible, not only would it be beyond cruel to Eugeo, who wouldn't be able to fit in with the lifeless NPC's of other VR worlds, but it also caused a pain in his heart, knowing the only interaction he would have with his friend would be in a virtual world. Undoubtedly, the foolproof option would be to leave him in the Underworld, but that would almost insure a final parting between the two._

_Taking a sip of steaming tea, which the two spent many hours earlier attempting to make, Kirito regarded the boy from Rulid village that had become someone irreplaceable to him. His green eyes that once looked so dull now shined, a testament to the joy that he now found in his life._

"_I don't think it would matter," Kirito found himself saying with conviction that seemingly appeared from nowhere, "Even if I suddenly remember close friends or family, it wouldn't change the fact that you're like a brother too me, and I'm sure they could accept that"_

"_It's good to hear that," Eugeo responded, before continuing in a somber tone "but you could have left someone more important than me behind, and what if they think I'm part of the reason you took so long to come back?_

_An image of Asuna flashed in Kirito's mind, and as the next words tumbled out of his mouth, he had never felt more disgusted with himself._

"_I-"_

A deafening crack of thunder split through the memory, throwing him out of his thoughts. Seconds later, the lights flickered before ultimately deciding to stay on.

As he slowly became more conscious of the world around him, he not only became aware of the seemingly ever worsening storm outside, but also of the multitude of tears flowing down his face.

It would seem that, despite the past month for the pain to subside, he still carried the scars he gained in the underworld. As he looked around the room, he noticed that while his mind might have wondered, his body had not forgotten the task at hand, and the once battle-scarred kitchen was now mess free.

At least he could do one thing right.

After haphazardly putting away the cleaning supplies from where they came, he made his way to the bathroom to try remove the evidence of the state he had been in. As he turned to check himself in the mirror, he swore that for a split second that he was greeted with the image of a boy wearing black armed with a sword as black as night and another as red as blood. Just as he turned his full attention to the image the weapons disappeared as did the uniform, and trails of tears were now visible falling down the boy's face.

This image did not fade away.

Grey walls, grey ceiling, and perfectly square rooms. This was her life now.

Coming from the bright and beautiful Underworld this was truly underwhelming. She was not saying this world was not beautiful, many things existed in this world that easily surpassed the beauty of best the Underworld had to offer, the Statue of Liberty or the Shinjuku gardens to name a few. If only she could see them.

The humans of this world easily had the ability to produce beautiful things. But sadly, the humans of today prized efficiency above all else.

Understandable, it truly was with the sheer number of people on this small world every little thing mattered.

Lying on her bed she stared up at the monochrome ceiling.

It was a truly great thing then that beauty was not only measured by the thing's humans create.

It was the people that invoked true beauty, and from what she had seen from her isolated room, their beauty had not been tarnished, without the seal of the right eye these people shined with a unique radiance.

She could only hope they accepted her.

She lacked that radiance, despite that fact Kirito had accepted her. She could only hope others would share his opinion.

A knock sounded on her steel door. "Alice, may I come in?" came a female voice.

Putting on a cheerful façade she allowed the woman entry. Despite all this woman had done for her she could not help but feel odd around her. She always felt like she viewed her more as an experiment rather than a person, but at the same time this woman did more for her than the other members of Rath.

The door opened with a creak and Dr. Koujiro entered, seemingly oblivious to Alice's internal struggle

The older woman made her way to an office chair conveniently place in the corner of the room, placed there so she had a place to do her work, not that she had any.

"About the trip to Kazuto's, some new developments have come up" the Dr. Koujiro rattled off, her arms resting in her lap.

At those words Alice froze, was he being honest those nights ago? Or after hearing her break down did he just feel sorry for her?

Despite the storm she faced inside, outside the only indication of her emotions was a slight pause before she spoke. She was an Integrity Knight after all, worse had surely happened to her, hadn't it?

As normally as possible she spoke "Oh, did he have plans he forgot about?" Instantly giving up the thought that she was concerned about what _he _thought about her.

Suddenly the room manifested an eerie feeling and Alice found herself unable to look at the Doctor as her facade crumbled. Surely there must be a smirk on her face she thought, who cared for a machine like her?

Despite that attitude of the girl in front of her the older woman let a smirk creep onto her face "I am afraid that Rath is going on vacation tomorrow, apparently it's a gift for everything that happened lately. Needless to say, this puts you in a difficult spot." Seeing how her words kept darkening the younger girl's mood she pushed on. "Luckily for you we found accommodations for you with a certain swordsman"

Alice's head upwards and the crumbling mask she had tried so desperately to hold slid off of her face entirely.

With an emerging smile on her face she interrupted, "Kirito's? for an entire week?" An entire week outside of this monochrome prison who was she to argue?

The older woman continued on with a smile despite her speech being interrupted. "After a brief discussion with his mother we figured staying at Kazuto's was the best option, added to the fact that Mrs. Kirigaya thinks a familiar face would be good for her son there it seems there truly was no argument."

Rising out of the chair she flashed a smile "Be ready to leave in an hour Alice" she spoke before she walked out the door.

Steeling her nerves Alice stood and quickly proceeded to pack what little possessions she wished to bring before resigning herself to her last hour in this room shed been forced to call home.

Blinded by the emotional roller-coaster she had just endured she missed smirk that rested, clearly visible, on the Doctors face as she left.

From the nearly vacant streets to the puddles and downpour of rain, the city looked like a somber painting.

This imagery was broken by the figure of a young man dashing from one form of rain cover to the next.

"Damn it" the black hooded figure muttered "Just had to remind Sugu to take the last umbrella"

Originally it was supposed to be any easy dash to the miniature supermarket down the street, of course that was his outlook before the breakdown he suffered an hour earlier. Luckily enough for him the physical evidence of that breakdown was easily destroyed, and for better or worse he was well versed in putting on a mask to cover the rest.

Nevertheless when he arrived to the local store to see darkened windows and a message that read "Temporarily Closed due to water damage" he couldn't help but crack a hollow smile at the fact that he wasn't the only person getting thrown to the curb by the gods today

It was poetic justice when, seconds after he departed from the closed store to try the next one a few blocks away the sky opened up, and he had to fight the urge to turn around and head home, despite being empty handed.

Nevertheless, he felt as if he owed it to her to make this… meet-up the best it could be, so he continued on as a torrent of rain blanketed the city.

As he raced from cover to cover passing by a few others who, unlike him, were protected by umbrellas. Despite putting all his effort into running as fast as possible he could still make out snippets of what they were saying.

"That boy…"

"-ust be someone special."

Luckily for him, when the store came in view the lights were on and it seemed to be open.

Rushing to the door and throwing himself into the store Kirito ran right into someone, knocking both of them to the ground with a crash and ejecting his wallet from his pocket.

"Watch where you're going, its impolite it run into people!" swelled a feminine voice, one that was often followed by the pounding of a hammer.

Immediately panic gripped his heart, and he grabbed at his wallet in a fevered haze.

Of all the people he had to run into today why _her_? It wasn't like he didn't like the pink haired blacksmith he had met in SAO, in fact he felt nearly the exact opposite she was one of the few people he had been able to talk to in the death game. No that wasn't the problem, the problem was that she was practically attached at the hip with Asuna, and he didn't doubt if he were recognized Asuna would show up at his house later today no doubt to-

"Ahem" came the same feminine voice "I take it this is yours?" she continued grabbing the wallet he had been struggling to grab before extending it out to him, all the while still failing to recognize who exactly had crashed into her.

The pink hair that was commonly associated with her was understandably absent, instead replaced with a natural brown color. She wore a light pink jacket with a pair of creamy brown pants. Slung over her shoulder, not unlike how she held her mace in SAO, was a folded umbrella, and of course held in her hand was his wallet.

Accepting his defeat, Kirito stood before directing his gaze at her.

"Yea its mine" he responded, immediately noticing how her face grew tighter when she recognized his face.

"Kirito?" the former blacksmith questioned with narrowed eyes, retracting her hand, before continuing crossly "Finally come out of your room have you? Does this mean you're done throwing Asuna away like a used towel?

Anger surged through him, darkening his mood to match the weather outside. Was this truly how little they thought of him, did they expect him to spring out of the Soul Translator and immediately act like the extra 14 years he had lived in the underworld didn't exist?

What right did these people think they had?

Something inside him broke, and before realized what he was doing he found himself walking back to the house he had left tens of minutes earlier, empty handed, and now that he thought about it, one wallet lighter.

As he crossed the first of many crosswalks on his path back to his house, he half expected to hear the loud sound of someone chasing after him, but as more and more of his mind regained functionality, he became aware of the complete opposite, complete silence. Not the blissful relaxing silence encountered at the end of a long day, but the kind that only occurs at the end of a relationship between two people, when neither side has anything left to say to the other, all that's left is to walk away.

Only minutes later, after returning to the stagnant air inside of his room did he realize that the pain in his heart from losing Eugeo hadn't seemed to increase. And it was this realization that broke him, he wasn't even sad to lose the people the had once thought of as his best friends, and one that he thought of as even more.

What type of person did that make him?

_**Hey guys, sorry that it's been awhile, COVID-19 hit and for a few months everything got pretty crazy, and even though things seemed to be getting better recent trends looking a lot like when things started to get crazy in April. **_

_**I'm going to continue updating this and while I would love to give you a schedule, between the whole pandemic and the cluster that college had been this year I cant promise anything.**_

_**Anyhow I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I'll see you next time! -Survivalman14**_


End file.
